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 Post subject: Jokes for Canadians
PostPosted: January 12th, 2004, 4:04 pm 
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A Hockey Joke only Canadians could understand...


Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in High Park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are In Toronto, I just assumed you were ," says the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continues writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Jays fan either, the boy says. " I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. What team do you root for?", the reporter asks .

"I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan, " the child replies.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."

:doh:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 12th, 2004, 5:30 pm 
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Location: Kitchener, Ontario Canada
c'est - il comme ca a Toronto???

GO HABS GO.


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PostPosted: January 12th, 2004, 8:51 pm 
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Location: Toronto, Ontario Canada
Yeah. Go Habs go... and take the Expos with you! :D

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PostPosted: January 12th, 2004, 9:09 pm 
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And yes C'est comme ca!!! :lol:

I know many people in Toronto that are fans of the Canadians :P

But I never met a human soul in Montreal that is a fan of the Leafs :roll:


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PostPosted: January 13th, 2004, 8:46 am 
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Location: Kanata, Ontario Canada
Shy, thanks, had a real good laugh.


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PostPosted: January 13th, 2004, 2:52 pm 
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Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
On a somewhat related note... I'd heard that resort operators down south were not impressed with Canadians and came up with the following:

Q: What's the difference between a Canadian tourist and a canoe?

A: At least the canoe occassionaly tips!


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 Post subject: Ontari-ari-ari-o
PostPosted: January 22nd, 2004, 12:45 pm 
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Location: Ottawa, ON
Rick Mercer (of CBC fame) with a remake of an old Province of Ontario song...

http://www.cbc.ca/mondayreport/videos/ontario.html


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PostPosted: January 22nd, 2004, 1:01 pm 
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Location: Copper Cliff, Ontario, Canada
Jeez ... I'd forgotten all about that song. Hilarious parady.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 22nd, 2004, 1:30 pm 
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Location: Ottawa, ON
I remember having to learn that song back in Chelmsford a few years ago!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 22nd, 2004, 5:09 pm 
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Location: Simcoe County, Ontario
Seems like the new mascot for the Leafs should be a seeing-eye dog!

From today's Toronto Sun: "Tucker, who had a torn retina in his eye after being struck by the stick of New York Islanders forward Jason Blake on Tuesday night, will be out of the lineup indefinitely. Fellow forward Owen Nolan was similarly injured on Jan. 3 against the Buffalo Sabres and, after having surgery, has targeted a game next Tuesday against the Carolina Hurricanes as his return.

Eye specialist Dr. Rob Devenyi performed the surgeries on both players."

Barbara


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 22nd, 2004, 7:22 pm 
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Location: Simcoe, Ontario Canada
Back in my early 20's, I did a whirl-wind tour of the maritimes with a buddy of mine who was motorcycle road racing at the track in Shubenacadie, N.S..

We spotted a "For Sale" sign along the road, (can't remember exactly where) next to a pile of wooden lobster traps and decided to each buy one. After we pulled into the lane, the owner walked up to greet us. After we told him that we wanted to buy a couple of traps he queried ... "you must be from Toronto?"

"Yup, how'd ya know that? one of us questioned.

" Well ... we can spot someone from Ontario a mile away. They all drive around with a lobster trap tied on the roof of their car. People from Toronto have two!"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 25th, 2004, 12:43 pm 
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Location: Calgary, Alberta
This one appeared in my e-mail:

Quote:
SO, WHAT DO CANADIANS HAVE TO BE PROUD OF?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts' ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.
14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company .
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.
24. We have coloured money.
25. Our beer advertisments kick ass.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!
25. And we don't bomb our allies.

oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.

Pass this on if you are proud to be Canadian!!!

I AM CANADIAN!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 25th, 2004, 2:53 pm 
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Do you guys still have Bob and Doug Mackaenzie (sp?) the ever so poplar Canadians :D

Are they still making their appearances on TV or Radio etc?

Koooo luuuukooooo koooooo koo koooooo luuuukooooo kooooo :lol:

Boneli

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 25th, 2004, 4:30 pm 
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Canada is the only country where you can call "Queens or Beavers" when you flip a coin. :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 26th, 2004, 12:58 pm 
Tim Horton's Donuts is American owned!! The Horton family was bought-out a long time ago and it is now in the hands of an American firm (Wendy's I think).

Again, Tim Horton's...NO LONGER Canadian.


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